Thanh Thuy’s story, 12 years later (2/3)

               Our sons’ families also strove constantly and continuously to brighten Thuy’s life.
Our charming grand children were always full of consideration to her aunt .
The eldest one, as soon as the age of five years old, already understood our sufferings from Thuy’s predicament.
We were all overwhelmed and elated when one day we surprised her in a conversation with her younger sister. She explained that they were to love their aunt not only out of pleasure but also of responsibility.

               Nevertheless, with time and the burden of age, my husband began to feel the effects of so many years of daily efforts to provide for Thuy’s wellbeing, not only physical but also and mainly psychological effects, and the whole situation sometimes seemed to us endless and overwhelming.

               Having to fulfill the hardship of a compelling profession and Thuy’s education at the same time, my own health started also to show the results of all these quasi permanent demands.
I was badgered with generalized arthritic pain and had to take a premature retirement for medico-physical inaptitude.

               For Thuy , my early retirement was a big disruption to her life.
As, being relieved from my professional obligations and being at home very frequently, my continuous presence was perceived by Thuy as a big restraint to her lifestyle at a time when her age required a more relaxed parental control.

               At the same time, the marriage of her brothers and the subsequent births of her nieces kept them from being available to her, which she felt akin to an abandonment of her.

               Thus, she started to experience a period of great psychological turmoil, accompanied by episodes of bulimia that left us totally baffled as we sincerely believed having sacrificed to her needs the best of our life.

               Our answer to that situation was to be even more at her side and to care for her even more, which proved to be the wrong approach.
But this, we would not know until much later.

               We should have seen the forewarning signs as since the age of twenty, whenever we took her with us to visit friends and relatives, she always asked us whether there would be a lot of ”premature retirees “ present.
At each weekend, she could hardly wait for us to leave so she could be by herself and free!

               During that period, she did not agree to any physical activities and stayed away from swimming, aikido, piano and music theory lessons.

               Then followed long years of psychological and psychiatric care.

               At one time, physically and mentally exhausted, we were ready, on the advises of certain doctors, to give her tranquilizers, if not thanks to the absolute opposition of her brothers and a television show that demonstrated their ill effects , a show produced  by a French actress sharing  her own experience with her sister (the name of that  actress was Sandrine Bonnaire, if I remember well).

               Other people suggested that we placed Thuy in a particular establishment for handicapped persons . Other people suggested that we placed Thuy in a particular establishment for handicapped persons . We visited many places, but we realized that the living conditions there would not be suitable for Thuy who was gifted with a lot of artistic abilities .

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  • Etienne Duy  De 17 septembre 2012 à 21 h 38 min

    Bonjour Thuy,
    Khang, que je connais au sein de l’association Mekong Plus, m’a parlé de ton
    site internet. J’ai pu ainsi découvrir tes peintures.
    Pour moi qui aime les arts graphiques, tes peintures m’ont beaucoup touché par
    leurs couleurs chatoyantes et leurs motifs.
    J’espère que tu vas continuer à peindre et à exposer, pour que les visiteurs
    aient autant de plaisir et de bien-être que j’ai pu ressentir à la vue de tes
    peintures.
    En début de cette année, j’ai vu une exposition qui aurait pu peut-être te
    plaire : Edmond Cross, le néo-impressionisme de Seurat à Matisse. Tu peux voir
    quelques oeuvres qui ont été présentées à cette exposition avec le lien internet
    suivant :
    http://www.marmottan.com/francais/expositions/exposition-edmond-cross.asp
    J’espère que je pourrai me rendre à une de tes prochaines expositions (j’ai vu
    les dates sur ton site).
    Porte toi bien.

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